So a little about me, eh? I am a 42 year old woman and I had gastric bypass in October 2002 when I was 316 pounds, and with a lot of hard work and exercise got down to 185. I still had about 40 pounds to lose but no amount of elliptical, walking, dieting, crying, and pleading would get my body to give up any more weight. After 2 years at 185, I gave up and without a lot of hard work and exercise, in 4 years I was back up to 280.
It's my fault and it sucks. Yea, pretty much everyone in my family is overweight and I don't believe I have a metabolism. But if I think about it, and not even too hard, it's really the junk and couch potato-ing that did me in.
How much more hopeless can I feel that not even weight loss surgery can fix me? How much more mortified can I be after proselytizing how great WLS is, when I see people I hadn't seen in years and I'm almost back up to my starting weight?
The good thing is that I've matured since I've had the surgery and I've kept a diary since I was 12. Not that I wrote in it daily, but I can see that when I was loney or anxious, only Mr. Twinkie could come to my rescue. Heck, I don't think there was a bad time for Mr. Twinkie. When I first went away to college and for each new job I had, I really struggled with adjusting. Instead of crying on a friend's shoulder, seeing a therapist, or drinking alcohol, my drug of choice was anything with lots of sugar and artificial ingredients. What an eye opener! I still have a lot more to go to work on this, but I'm sure glad I kept those diaries, as painful and raw as some of the entries are.
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